Strategize To Succeed
PC326 – So, What’s Your Story?

       Welcome to the next episode of Strategize To Succeed™. Selectively applying the strategies which we discuss each week will help you as you progress from conditions to opportunities to successes.

       In today’s episode, we are focused on the skill of telling your story, what that means and how to accomplish it.

      To get us started today, Your Mentor is first going to tell you a story. It’s a true story which happened recently to me. 

       The autumn weather was ambivalent, the early morning was cool but then by noon, the thought was, maybe we have another opportunity for spring. But, by the time the sun set, it became clear that the seasons were changing.

      At some point during the day, a house fly lived up to its name and found its way into my home. Frankly, my attitude towards flies has always been live and let live, as long as their flight path does not intersect with my living pattern. At that point, my arms get added aerobic exercise from all of my waving and shooing. Ultimately, with the intention of escorting such a creature back outside to a preferred location in nature.

      However, for some reason, this fly seemed a bit different. Almost as if it had a knowing personality. Now, I recognize that that view seems odd. But, consider this pattern of behavior. 

      Each morning, while eating breakfast, the fly took its initial pass in front of me. Close enough so that I would definitely see it, but respectful of my space and not landing on my food or place setting. It took just one fly-by, almost as an acknowledgement that a new day was under way. 

      And then I had peace and privacy for several hours during the day.

      However, as I was preparing dinner, my visitor returned. Not to take an anticipated dive into the food. This fly had a different agenda.

      Normally, there would be at least one component of the evening meal which would be prepared in the microwave oven. And apparently, this appliance was of great interest to the fly.

      Whenever the microwave was operating, the fly returned and took up a perch on top of it, just near the door. The first couple of times, I engaged in my regular waving routine, urging it to move on.

       But each time, it looked at me, and I looked at it. Was it daring me to do something? Was it teasing me? Was this a sign of fly friendliness? I couldn’t believe that it was any of those indicators. After all, could a brain that small even have an understanding, or emotions to demonstrate feelings? 

      So, my analysis came down to two possible responses from the fly: either it liked the bit of warmth that was being generated, or it appreciated the gentle whirring sound and vibration emitted from the microwave. When the unit was turned off, the fly moved away.

       I don’t have an answer for this behavior. However, the fly followed the same behavior pattern for several days in a row. Long enough, that I had come to expect it, and maybe even slightly look forward to it. The fly had enhanced my living experience by compelling me to look outside of myself.

      And then the day came when there was no morning fly-over and no evening microwave visit, and then a second day. Still no visit.

       What had started off as an annoyance had shifted to ambivalence, and then, perhaps a grudging acceptance.

       I don’t know what actually happened to the fly. I would like to believe that it chose to exit through an open door and move on to briefly experience someone else’s home.

       I am left thinking that, although I am not particularly fond of bugs, I do hope that it will consider our short visit to have been a positive experience. I know I will.

      Unlikely as it is, that is my fly story. 

      Storytelling through history has always served as a means of communications, as well as entertainment. However, it seems that today, storytelling is gaining an increased amount of attention. And, although I don’t know the actual reason why, I do think that as consumers we have become increasingly captivated by the abundance of storytelling through all of the media outlets and that, as a result, our minds have become more predisposed to taking in information via storytelling as a modality. So, whether you are trying to market yourself, either personally or professionally, or you are trying to sell your company’s product, being able to tell the story can be quite helpful.

       The question becomes how to tell a story which is on-point and yet interesting. 

      First, recognize that throughout your lifetime, you have always told stories of one type or another, it’s just the circumstances which change.

      Perhaps the earliest stories which you may have told had to do with a re-telling of what occurred at school that day. Essentially, any narrative description of events with a beginning, middle, and end, which includes emotional conflict and growth, constitutes a story.

       A story though is more than a linear chronological account. It addresses the impact and response and the resulting feelings. “The key to storytelling is understanding that values inspire action through emotion.” That conclusion was provided by John Light in the article, “How to Tell Your ‘Story of Self’(350.org toolkit, Moyers & Company, May 10, 2013).

       In the article, “How to tell a captivating story – from a wedding toast to a job interview,” by Elise Hu and Audrey Nguyen (NPR Life Kit, April 28, 2022), the authors note that it is important to select a meaningful story. I would add that the story should not only be meaningful, but also in its lesson be appropriate to the situation and the environment. There needs to be a point so that the story connects with the audience. There should be no doubt in your mind that a story which you tell at your job interview needs to be completely different from a wedding toast in its details, as well as the point which you are trying to make. And even the tone of your voice should adapt appropriately.

       As the authors indicate “Big decisions are a good place to find stories; so are embarrassing moments and mistakes. Think of a time you did something but it didn’t go as planned. Within these kinds of prompts you can begin to explore moments of vulnerability.”

       They then suggest areas of storytelling which you might consider, including “What’s something someone said to you that you’ll never forget; tell us about a breakthrough moment; or tell us about a time you had to follow your heart.”

       Once your story topic is decided, consider the emotions as at least as important as the facts. The telling of these feelings need to be able to draw in the audience, whether 1 or 100.

      Understand what is at the heart of the story; you should be able to capture its point in one sentence. If you are able to do that, it will be much easier for you to frame it for re-telling.

       As you proceed to craft the mechanics of the story, pay attention to structure. You want to set the scene whether chronologically or in a flashback style. Be careful though to outline it in as simple a format as possible so that it can easily be followed and the sequence of events does not become confusing. According to Light, “The three key elements of storytelling structure are challenge, choice, outcome . . . Focus on one key story – one event or one place or one important relationship.” 

      Hu and Nguyen emphasize the need for demonstrating the evolution of the storyteller. As they say, “The key to a good ending is showing the audience your transformation over the course of the story, even if it’s a slight transformation.”

      The authors inform us that once you have written your story, you are not yet done with the task. Equally important to the writing is the telling, and for that, the emphasis is on practicing, without memorizing. To do this, the authors suggest “A good strategy is to really learn the words you want to use for the beginning and end of your story, but keep your notes in between as bullet points.”

      There are two additional issues which warrant your attention, according to the authors. First, don’t select a topic for your story if you are not emotionally ready to discuss it. If you find that a traumatic event is preventing you from re-telling it without losing your composure, or if you find that you are unable to prepare a suitable ending for the story, then perhaps it is not the right time for you to share that event with the audience.

       Second, the most important part of the story is the connection which you form with the audience. That is not generated by the telling of facts; it comes from your emotional response to those facts. Embrace it and you’ll have a better story. 

      As pointed out by Light, “the purpose of telling your story of self is to begin to create common ground with your audience by sharing a story that reflects the values that brought you to work on your given issue, and where those values come from.”

       Perhaps consider my fly story within the context of these suggestions. How would you improve it?

       Thank you for sharing your time today. Remember, your application of strategic decision-making approaches can result in more beneficial outcomes for you, both professionally and personally. Why not turn that process into your opportunity?

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