Strategize To Succeed
PC404 – The Dark Side Of Success

       Welcome to the next episode of Strategize To Succeed™. Selectively applying the strategies which we discuss each week will help you as you progress from conditions to opportunities to successes.

       In today’s episode, we are discussing the downside of success and how to avoid it. Surprisingly, the subject is really more upbeat than it may sound. You see, if you can avoid some of the pitfalls, you may be more likely to achieve the success which you are seeking.

      Success seems to be the standard to which most people aspire. Many things which we do are aimed at achieving success. In fact, even this podcast series references success in its title.

      First though, let’s consider how you would define success. Perhaps a concept analogous to beauty, maybe success is best found in the eyes of the beholder. Ultimately, this position was supported by doctor of psychology, Leon F. Seltzer, who wrote an article entitled, “How Do You Define Success?” (Psychology Today, posted July 7, 2021). After assessing multiple approaches to perceptions of success, including references in literature and the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Dr. Seltzer concluded that “meeting one’s personal goals – whether others approve or not – must determine the (subjective) success of one’s life . . . you alone get to decide how successful you’ve been . . . if you feel you haven’t lived up to your specified ideals, you also have the freedom to make new lifestyle choices that can transform how you see yourself.”

       So, how you perceive your success is strictly up to you, no one else. That’s a double-edge sword, if ever there was one. On the one hand, if a third party determines the level of success which you have attained, that makes the analysis of your success much easier and relieves you of any responsibility. On the other hand, if you are responsible for assessing your own success, that evaluation has the potential to lay a significant burden at your feet. And the responsibility based on that assessment may have a paralyzing effect on you if you don’t try to delude yourself with an inaccurate review.

       Assuming that you are willing to assume the responsibility of determining your own level and attainment of success, you deserve credit for stepping up and acknowledging that no one else can or should define your level of success. That is a courageous position of self-empowerment, and you should be proud of your strength. After jumping that hurdle, what else could go wrong with achieving your success?

      Before even reaching the point of believing that you are a success, it is possible to get caught up in several challenges that can slow down one’s ascension to that next level.

       Dr. Alice Boyes wrote an article for Harvard Business Review (November 13, 2018) entitled, “5 Ways Smart People Sabotage Their Success.” In it, she reviewed the five problems which frequently undermine the success of seemingly smart people, and suggested solutions for circumventing those issues.

       First, “smart people sometimes devalue other skills like relationship building, and over-concentrate on intellect.” Apparently, many smart people have an innate belief that their intellect is all that is necessary to reach their chosen level of success. Of course, life is more complicated than that. Dr. Boyes solution is to “use your strengths to overcome your weaknesses.” This means that one’s intellect should be consciously applied to other areas to be of help in expanding the needed skill set.

       Second, “teamwork can be frustrating for very smart people.” It is important to recognize that delegation of a task or working as a team can ultimately be more helpful and productive. Dr. Boyes solution is to be “self-compassionate” as well as “learn to genuinely appreciate what diverse minds bring to a team.”

       Third, “smart people often attach a lot of their self-esteem to being smart, which can decrease their resilience and lead to avoidance.” People who realize that they are smart and that their success is predicated on that talent can become very insecure in situations which do not rely on their being smart. After all no one is smart at everything. The proposed solution is to surround oneself with other smart people and rely on them and their own areas of expertise to offer constructive criticism. This both levels the playing field and supplies a broader range of useful knowledge.

       Fourth, according to Dr. Boyes, “smart people get bored easily.” Whether one’s success results from their creativity or their expertise, smart people require a constant challenge which is intellectually stimulating. Dr. Boyes suggested solution for this situation is to make sure to keep challenging oneself in all areas of one’s life.

       The last struggle which Dr. Boyes noted is that “smart people sometimes see in-depth thinking and reflection as the solution to every problem.” Sometimes, deep, analytical thinking just won’t bring an immediate solution. So, Dr. Boyes suggestion is to look beyond thinking as the most helpful strategy. These approaches can include doing, rather than researching, or disrupting a thought pattern with a captivating but disparate activity, such as working on a puzzle.

       The point of Dr. Boyes comments seems to be that to achieve success is not a straight road. It is filled with potholes, and impediments and disturbances which can easily throw one off track. The problem with achieving success focuses on the psyche and how one’s brain chooses to react so as to attain that level of success.

       But say for the moment that you bob and weave and manage to reach the level that you feel is worthy of being called success. How can you possibly even expect to maintain, much less surpass, it, if it was this hard getting there in the first place?

       This may become one of those ‘sell your soul to the devil’ moments. You know the type. Over the years, there have been numerous movies in which the theme was that very subject. The point though is constant. Once someone achieves their initial success, there is often a fear which overtakes them. The fear comes as a result of the creeping thought that they might not be able to maintain their life at the pinnacle of success, instead that the only place which they can go is down.

       In order to prevent what is envisioned to be a rapid decline, down from the heights of success, some individuals may start to cut corners to preserve or enhance the euphoria of their perceived status. Cutting corners can take many forms, however, they all come down to a loss of personal integrity. And that is far more valuable than the bank account balance.

       This view has nothing to do with the often-publicized excesses which seem to accompany many types of success. You know the types; they take the form of overindulging – the overt manifestations of lifestyle extremes of any sort. And usually they, too, happen as a result of fear about how to maintain the success.

       There is an element of the process of success, attaining and maintaining it, which includes the verb “chasing.” When chasing takes over, success itself has become the primary thought, without any rational basis. In this process, often the individual who is chasing success starts taking shortcuts and lowering standards to get where they feel they should be. 

       In an article entitled, “The Problem with Chasing Success” (minihabits.com, September 6, 2022), Stephen Guise discussed the resulting problem when one compromises their values for success, and concluded that it is always a losing proposition.

       Instead, Mr. Guise noted that “you get results by focusing on the process and you get success by focusing on providing value . . . when you fixate only on the money, you won’t provide as much value.”

       This perspective was not lost on two preeminent thinkers, Warren Buffett and Albert Einstein, both of whom Mr. Guise quoted in his article.

      Mr. Buffett said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.”

      And, Dr. Einstein said, “Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.”

      The question then arises of how one becomes of value? At the very core, value is not just a matter of giving 100%. Value is really a matter of giving 115%. It is important in all transactions or exchanges that one give more than they are receiving. That added amount represents the value to the other party, or the customer.

       An example of this is found in an article entitled, “The Problem With Success Is . . . “ by Eli Amdur (Forbes Magazine, May 14, 2021). The subject of the presentation was Irving Berlin, the noted composer. As Mr. Amdur concluded about Mr. Berlin, “he had more than talent; he had drive . . . His talent produced his quality; his drive produced 1,500 songs.”

       Mr. Berlin commented on success this way, “The problem with success is that you’ve got to keep on being a success.” Mr. Amdur commented that Mr. Berlin “felt it was his responsibility . . . to continue to do what he did and to continuously improve upon it. He felt he owed it to his public. And what his public got was constant innovation, freshness and, in a manner of speaking, value.”

       Now, not everyone can be an Irving Berlin, who was able to generate a body of celebrated work during his lifetime. There is no question that he was extraordinary.

       But how should the average person approach success, and behave? 

       Well, Your Mentor recently came across an interesting article which initiated my thoughts on success. The article is entitled, “The Ten Year Rule: Change Your Life Every Decade,” by Dr. Nassir Ghaemi (Psychology Today.com, posted January 24, 2023). Dr. Ghaemi viewed the problem of living up to one’s success as becoming the basis for one’s failure. Instead, citing other proponents of similar strategies, he advocated that individuals should divide their lives, upon completion of schooling, into 10-year increments. Then, one should follow their chosen path for 10 years, achieve the level of success to which they aspire, or are capable of, and then, switch to a completely different path and work towards another route to success. 

       Dr. Ghaemi believes that this approach is much healthier and more stimulating to the mind. It prevents one from becoming stagnant and frustrated. And, ultimately may lead to the creation of added, even more noteworthy, subsequent successes. 

       Perhaps at this point you are wondering whether or not it is even worth wanting to become successful. I can’t answer that for you, but I would suggest that, regardless of the road you take, just try to do your best for yourself, your family and your community. Then, regardless of the life you pursue, if you do your best, that will be your success.

       Thank you for sharing your time today. Remember, your application of strategic decision-making approaches can result in more beneficial outcomes for you, both professionally and personally. Why not turn that process into your opportunity?  

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